So today was my birthday. I quit being "neighbors" with 29. It is what it is.
I felt better, though, when I came to school and my co-worker told me that she heard on the news this morning that 33 is the new 21, which would put me at 19. Cool. :)
My birthday was a success, and I'm so blessed for all of my wonderful family and friends who took time out of their day to send me happy birthday wishes. Funny how things change when you get older. I really enjoy sweet birthday messages, but I've found as I get older, as fun as gifts are, I'd rather just spend time with the people I love and go to bed early. :)
Some birthday highlights:
-All of my classes discovered it was birthday. 1st period burst out into some weird birthday chant? ...that never quite fully materialized. They wanted to know how old I was. I had several guesses in the mid 20s. Why yes, yes I am! ;-) In 6th period, I actually share a birthday with another student who I also taught in 6th grade. So the class came flooding in with birthday wishes, and they all burst into song as soon as the bell rang. And as much as I have to get onto to this group for their silliness (and chattiness), you'd never know it by their song. They sang the birthday song, all 23 of them, at the top of their lungs, and then cheered for a good 15 seconds. I'm just grateful that the teacher next door to me is not bothered by the occasional noise, because I KNOW their sound was not contained by our four walls. lol They assured me that she didn't have a class that period. 7th period sang to me also, and offered that, since it was my birthday, I shouldn't have to do work and teach. Hmm... How sweet of them. lol I thanked them for their offer, but professionally declined. :)
-My Mom sent me an Edible Arrangement at work "from my girls". That made my day. I love those things! And getting things delivered to you at work is even more fun.
-My sweet team brought cupcakes to work, and they were delicious, and the ELA department sang to me during our Teaming Period.
-My husband was going to get up early and make me breakfast, but his alarm didn't go off. I'm not made, or even disappointed, even the thought of the gesture I find extremely sweet. And I came home to a homemade dinner and cake.
Today was a great day, and I am truly and richly blessed by the people God has surrounded me with.
...So, today was great, and since 33 is the new 21, which really makes me 19, I should probably be off doing something "age appropriate"...like vegging or sleeping. I think I'm gonna like being "19".
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday.
Monday.
After Spring Break.
Before the STAAR Test.
Monday.
I was not looking forward to today, and today did not disappoint. Monday was everything I thought it would be. And maybe it was a bit of a self-fufilling prophecy, so I'll try to be in a better frame of mind tomorrow, but today was rough. We're gearing up and trying to review for the state test next week. This is always tough ground to cover; the kids get antsy. And really, the teachers do, too.
So I've been doing this Boot Camp for three weeks now. Well, really today was the first day of my third week, but whatever. I am loving it. I cannot physically see the results yet, although the scale and my tape measure tell me that it's working. I just can't see it in myself. It was nice to have three co-workers stop and tell me that whatever I was doing was working. Yay! That was the boost today that I needed. Well, and chocolate. What can I say? I am a stress eater. Not the best thing to be, but it is what it is.
After a rough start to the morning, I was determined to locate and consume whatever chocolate I could find on campus. At lunch, I headed to the teacher's workroom to raid the vending machines. I actually had some change today. This never happens. Lunch was going to end happy.
Lunch did not end happy. Marching triumphantly up to the vending machine, a slew of quarters in hand, I looked over the offerings behind the glass. Slim pickings. Other teachers must be stressed, too. Good. I'm not alone. I finally decided on a package of Reese's cups. 85 cents. Done. I deposited my quarters purposefully into the machine and searched out the buttons. I punched in "D", located "4", and punched it in with gleeful anticipation. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing.
And that's when I noticed the discreet message reading across the digital display, "Deposit exact change."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! All I had was quarters! I entered the "Denial" stage in the 5 Stages of Grief scale and punched in the numbers again, sure that the error was not my own. My attempt was in vain. The same results. I stood, in front of the machine, staring despondently at my coveted Reese's cups sitting pretty behind the glass. With a sigh, I stooped down to scoop my quarters out of the change return and headed back to class, wholly defeated and chocolateless.
I know it was for the best. Stress eating is not the way to go, but it is a great way to undo the good I have been doing the last two weeks (plus today). I ate my carrots and tuna fish sandwhich knowing I was better off....
Chocolateless, I went back to class, determined to try to move past my disappointment. The rest of the day consisted of ups and downs. Mine. The kids. Monday's. Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure. I hope. Because I won't have exact change tomorrow, either. ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news, my girls are getting huge! B is a bonafide "High School Musical (1, 2, and 3)" fan. During Spring Break while I was in another room cleaning, I heard her singing along with one the Gabriella and Troy duets. I was torn between laughing quietly to myself that she was so into this movie and knew the songs and disgust that she'd seen it enough times (and we'd allowed it) that she knew the words. But I remember being a kid and watching movies so repetitively that they are forever burned into the back of my brain. Besides, I have seen all three of the HSMs. There are worse things for her to be watching. And there are even redemptive qualities in the antagonists in these movies, and B and I have talked about this. ...Specifically about how mean Sharpay can be. Luckily, this is something that she has picked up on her own. Good girl! ..I can overlook the fact that Sunday she requested that I do her hair like Sharpay's for church. lol
L is now 6 months and growing like a weed, although she's not nearly as "weedy" as her big sister. While B has always maintained her position at top of, or off of, her growth charts, L is holding her own right around the 50% mark. I'm kinda thinkin' she's not gonna be joining the Tall Ranks with her sister and her Daddy. She and I can hang out in Average Land together. ;)
We're trying to wean her off her Prevacid in hopes that she no longer needs it. So far, so good. We're just giving her one pill a day now, instead of two. Eventually we'll take it down to one, every other day. But considering we just refilled it, I'm in no hurry. Unfortunately, she had a SUPER pukey weekend! She didn't seem bothered by the puke, which is good. It means that she's doing okay on just one pill of Prevacid. And, of course, the reflux medications do not do anything to correct how much or how often she pukes. It's purpose is to keep her comfortable. ...Not sure what the influx of puke means, but she's welcome to stop whenever!
She can sit now. She's definitely not a "Weeble". ...You know, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down."
But, she is sitting. She's getting better. I usually like to keep my hands up, just in case. And after about a minute or so, she usually topples over, but she's getting there. Won't be long before she's crawling! She does excellent baby push ups. This weekend, I went so far as to shove her legs up underneath her to see if I couldn't jump start the process. She would rock back and forth for a bit and then slowly sink back down to the ground, face first. lol
..And with that, I'm off. Today can only get better, and tomorrow is a fresh start! :)
After Spring Break.
Before the STAAR Test.
Monday.
I was not looking forward to today, and today did not disappoint. Monday was everything I thought it would be. And maybe it was a bit of a self-fufilling prophecy, so I'll try to be in a better frame of mind tomorrow, but today was rough. We're gearing up and trying to review for the state test next week. This is always tough ground to cover; the kids get antsy. And really, the teachers do, too.
So I've been doing this Boot Camp for three weeks now. Well, really today was the first day of my third week, but whatever. I am loving it. I cannot physically see the results yet, although the scale and my tape measure tell me that it's working. I just can't see it in myself. It was nice to have three co-workers stop and tell me that whatever I was doing was working. Yay! That was the boost today that I needed. Well, and chocolate. What can I say? I am a stress eater. Not the best thing to be, but it is what it is.
After a rough start to the morning, I was determined to locate and consume whatever chocolate I could find on campus. At lunch, I headed to the teacher's workroom to raid the vending machines. I actually had some change today. This never happens. Lunch was going to end happy.
Lunch did not end happy. Marching triumphantly up to the vending machine, a slew of quarters in hand, I looked over the offerings behind the glass. Slim pickings. Other teachers must be stressed, too. Good. I'm not alone. I finally decided on a package of Reese's cups. 85 cents. Done. I deposited my quarters purposefully into the machine and searched out the buttons. I punched in "D", located "4", and punched it in with gleeful anticipation. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing.
And that's when I noticed the discreet message reading across the digital display, "Deposit exact change."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! All I had was quarters! I entered the "Denial" stage in the 5 Stages of Grief scale and punched in the numbers again, sure that the error was not my own. My attempt was in vain. The same results. I stood, in front of the machine, staring despondently at my coveted Reese's cups sitting pretty behind the glass. With a sigh, I stooped down to scoop my quarters out of the change return and headed back to class, wholly defeated and chocolateless.
I know it was for the best. Stress eating is not the way to go, but it is a great way to undo the good I have been doing the last two weeks (plus today). I ate my carrots and tuna fish sandwhich knowing I was better off....
Chocolateless, I went back to class, determined to try to move past my disappointment. The rest of the day consisted of ups and downs. Mine. The kids. Monday's. Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure. I hope. Because I won't have exact change tomorrow, either. ;-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In other news, my girls are getting huge! B is a bonafide "High School Musical (1, 2, and 3)" fan. During Spring Break while I was in another room cleaning, I heard her singing along with one the Gabriella and Troy duets. I was torn between laughing quietly to myself that she was so into this movie and knew the songs and disgust that she'd seen it enough times (and we'd allowed it) that she knew the words. But I remember being a kid and watching movies so repetitively that they are forever burned into the back of my brain. Besides, I have seen all three of the HSMs. There are worse things for her to be watching. And there are even redemptive qualities in the antagonists in these movies, and B and I have talked about this. ...Specifically about how mean Sharpay can be. Luckily, this is something that she has picked up on her own. Good girl! ..I can overlook the fact that Sunday she requested that I do her hair like Sharpay's for church. lol
L is now 6 months and growing like a weed, although she's not nearly as "weedy" as her big sister. While B has always maintained her position at top of, or off of, her growth charts, L is holding her own right around the 50% mark. I'm kinda thinkin' she's not gonna be joining the Tall Ranks with her sister and her Daddy. She and I can hang out in Average Land together. ;)
We're trying to wean her off her Prevacid in hopes that she no longer needs it. So far, so good. We're just giving her one pill a day now, instead of two. Eventually we'll take it down to one, every other day. But considering we just refilled it, I'm in no hurry. Unfortunately, she had a SUPER pukey weekend! She didn't seem bothered by the puke, which is good. It means that she's doing okay on just one pill of Prevacid. And, of course, the reflux medications do not do anything to correct how much or how often she pukes. It's purpose is to keep her comfortable. ...Not sure what the influx of puke means, but she's welcome to stop whenever!
She can sit now. She's definitely not a "Weeble". ...You know, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down."
But, she is sitting. She's getting better. I usually like to keep my hands up, just in case. And after about a minute or so, she usually topples over, but she's getting there. Won't be long before she's crawling! She does excellent baby push ups. This weekend, I went so far as to shove her legs up underneath her to see if I couldn't jump start the process. She would rock back and forth for a bit and then slowly sink back down to the ground, face first. lol
..And with that, I'm off. Today can only get better, and tomorrow is a fresh start! :)
Monday, February 20, 2012
A "Me Day" and Nostalgic Moments
Today was President's Day. Yay presidents! Or, more accurately, YAY, day to myself! I have not had an entire day to myself, myself, in I don't know how long. To say that I haven't been fully alone in years is probably not a stretch. I'm pretty sure the last thing that comes remotely close to qualifying is the time I spent last June at a conference in Dallas for work. But that was for work, and I was really only alone once I got back to my hotel for the evening. I've been looking forward to today like a kid waits for Santa.
I should have planned out my time better, though. How foolish of me. I knew this day was approaching, this blessed miraculous day, where I am the only one who has the day off and the daycare is open. I had a laundry list of things I wanted to do today:
Maybe if I had planned better, made a schedule, complete with time limits. ...Then, maybe, I could have accomplished more. The next time one of these days rolls around again, I'll be better prepared. I'll know the difference between being productive and enjoying my day and "meandering".
In other news, my girls keep growing. Can't believe B will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. I remember carrying her to the baby room in her daycare, totally in awe of the big kids in the back of the building. I remember thinking how foreign that world seemed to me: playgrounds, macaroni art, and circle time. And now, it's time to start thinking about backpacks, lunch boxes, and school supplies. I've already started talking to her about how after this spring, she won't go to her daycare anymore. I think she'll be fine, what I'm worried about is the fact that she probably won't see most of those kids in her class again. She's already had two "best friends" move/go to a different school, and she's adjusted fine, but she still asks about and misses them.
L is getting close to sitting up on her own, and I think scooting around the floor, and hopefully, a tooth. She always has a ready smile on her face, a grin that spreads from ear to ear, making her eyes light up and radiate. Gosh, I can't believe how big she's getting! It seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms in my hospital bed, shortly to be followed by the weeks of frustration while we figured out the reflux thing. Although, at the time, that seemed like months, many hellish months.
I know that I'll blink, and she'll be in Kindergarten too, though. How do they grow up so fast? And how does time go by so slowly in the eye of the child? I love my husband, my kids, my life. But sometimes I desperately miss the familiarity and security of childhood. My bright, open bedroom. The sounds of my brothers playing in the living room. The smell of Mom making dinner in the kitchen, and the sounds of Dad strumming his guitar. I remember thinking it would be FOREVER until I was big enough to do this, or old enough to do that. And now I'm the adult. And B is the one who can't wait to get big.
Sometimes I wish you could DVR life. Rewind and relive all the great moments over and over again. Moments that everyone takes for granted and no one fully appreciates, at least not for several years.
Wow. This post made a bee-line for Nostalgia Way; was not expecting that. It's probably time to end this post anyway, since I can see a little someone about to wiggle her sleeping self out of her bouncy seat. Time to get swaddled and head to bed, and I probably won't be far behind. Goodnight. :)
I should have planned out my time better, though. How foolish of me. I knew this day was approaching, this blessed miraculous day, where I am the only one who has the day off and the daycare is open. I had a laundry list of things I wanted to do today:
- Sing at the top of my lungs (check)
- Clean/re-organize my closet
- Sew (almost got there)
- Take a nap (check!)
- Control the remote (check)
- Workout (check)
- Eat a pan of Krispie treats with no one around to judge me (still on my bucket list)
Maybe if I had planned better, made a schedule, complete with time limits. ...Then, maybe, I could have accomplished more. The next time one of these days rolls around again, I'll be better prepared. I'll know the difference between being productive and enjoying my day and "meandering".
In other news, my girls keep growing. Can't believe B will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. I remember carrying her to the baby room in her daycare, totally in awe of the big kids in the back of the building. I remember thinking how foreign that world seemed to me: playgrounds, macaroni art, and circle time. And now, it's time to start thinking about backpacks, lunch boxes, and school supplies. I've already started talking to her about how after this spring, she won't go to her daycare anymore. I think she'll be fine, what I'm worried about is the fact that she probably won't see most of those kids in her class again. She's already had two "best friends" move/go to a different school, and she's adjusted fine, but she still asks about and misses them.
L is getting close to sitting up on her own, and I think scooting around the floor, and hopefully, a tooth. She always has a ready smile on her face, a grin that spreads from ear to ear, making her eyes light up and radiate. Gosh, I can't believe how big she's getting! It seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms in my hospital bed, shortly to be followed by the weeks of frustration while we figured out the reflux thing. Although, at the time, that seemed like months, many hellish months.
I know that I'll blink, and she'll be in Kindergarten too, though. How do they grow up so fast? And how does time go by so slowly in the eye of the child? I love my husband, my kids, my life. But sometimes I desperately miss the familiarity and security of childhood. My bright, open bedroom. The sounds of my brothers playing in the living room. The smell of Mom making dinner in the kitchen, and the sounds of Dad strumming his guitar. I remember thinking it would be FOREVER until I was big enough to do this, or old enough to do that. And now I'm the adult. And B is the one who can't wait to get big.
Sometimes I wish you could DVR life. Rewind and relive all the great moments over and over again. Moments that everyone takes for granted and no one fully appreciates, at least not for several years.
Wow. This post made a bee-line for Nostalgia Way; was not expecting that. It's probably time to end this post anyway, since I can see a little someone about to wiggle her sleeping self out of her bouncy seat. Time to get swaddled and head to bed, and I probably won't be far behind. Goodnight. :)
Monday, February 13, 2012
Pound the Rock
Pound the rock. A sports metaphor. That was the message that we walked away with from the staff meeting shortly after the Christmas break. Keep going. Keep trying. Don't give up. Try something new. Pound the rock.
I can't lie. Some days I feel like I've pounded the rock until nothing remains but residual powder. ...But that's usually when my "rock" miraculously regenerates itself. ...And I can continue to pound away. :)
I feel blessed to be a teacher at a campus that puts the kids first. A campus that continually tries to seek out new and innovative ideas to reach and engage our kids. And boy am I glad I'm not alone in that endeavor, because at times, it is physically exhausting and mentally draining.
You know how, when you're looking for something at the store--something you made a special trip for, no less--and you can't see it? ...You think to yourself, and this happened to me tonight actually, 'If I stand here long enough, the item I am so hopelessly searching for will appear.' Sometimes I feel that way about seeking out new ways to reach my kids. I find a quiet place that guarantees no interruptions, which is usually the shower, and I put my mind on the problem, and I stand there, and I think. And I think. And I'm convinced that if I stand there long enough and focus my all my inner Jedi Power on the issue, that an epiphany, wholly new and never thought of before, will spring to the forefront of my mind, rendering the issue at hand powerless. ...And then I will be sought out by teachers the world over to teach them my fail-proof techniques.
That sounds amazing, but that will probably never happen. Too many papers to grade, lessons to plan, and kids to manage to have time to have epiphanies of that nature, which is why I am beyond grateful that there are people out there to have epiphanies for me.
Enter the awesome Webinar Series our staff has done the past two weeks.
I can't lie. Some days I feel like I've pounded the rock until nothing remains but residual powder. ...But that's usually when my "rock" miraculously regenerates itself. ...And I can continue to pound away. :)
I feel blessed to be a teacher at a campus that puts the kids first. A campus that continually tries to seek out new and innovative ideas to reach and engage our kids. And boy am I glad I'm not alone in that endeavor, because at times, it is physically exhausting and mentally draining.
You know how, when you're looking for something at the store--something you made a special trip for, no less--and you can't see it? ...You think to yourself, and this happened to me tonight actually, 'If I stand here long enough, the item I am so hopelessly searching for will appear.' Sometimes I feel that way about seeking out new ways to reach my kids. I find a quiet place that guarantees no interruptions, which is usually the shower, and I put my mind on the problem, and I stand there, and I think. And I think. And I'm convinced that if I stand there long enough and focus my all my inner Jedi Power on the issue, that an epiphany, wholly new and never thought of before, will spring to the forefront of my mind, rendering the issue at hand powerless. ...And then I will be sought out by teachers the world over to teach them my fail-proof techniques.
That sounds amazing, but that will probably never happen. Too many papers to grade, lessons to plan, and kids to manage to have time to have epiphanies of that nature, which is why I am beyond grateful that there are people out there to have epiphanies for me.
Enter the awesome Webinar Series our staff has done the past two weeks.
Blessed are those who have time to research, for other teachers will surely prosper.
-Teaching Proverb by Amanda-
Tonight I walked away from our staff meeting feeling truly rejuvinated and ready to tackle my tricky student behaviors, and I found myself trying to figure out a way to get my family out of the house for a couple nights so I could wholly envelope myself in a cocoon of creativity and ingenuity...and probably some markers and poster board, too. :)
While that probably won't happen (and it's not entirely bad; I ADORE my family), I do have some fresh new, research-based techniques that I can't wait to try with my kids. And just in time, too. Did you know the Reading STAAR test is a mere FIVE. WEEKS. AWAY?! I am expecting my usual TAKS Twitch, to be re-named "STAAR Twitch" to return shortly. ...Every year for the past few years, right before state testing, I get a twitch under my left eye. Google says it could be a tumor. But I highly suspect otherwise. Google has a tendency to over-exaggerate, for one. And secondly, if it is a tumor, it only occurs around the time of state testing. And since I've yet to hear of selective tumors, my money's on the STAAR Test, formerly TAKS.
I like to think that when I'm conversing with a student, and they notice my hideous twitch, that they are terrified into submission and think to themselves, 'Man. This stuff must be seroius if she's twitching at me!' ...In reality, I probably just look like an idiot with an eye twitch...if they notice it, and I pray they don't. One year a kid did. I try to maintain a safe distance from students now, when the twitch is in full effect; best not to scare them. lol
But, for the time being, I remain twitchless, with a Bag of Tricks that has just been freshly filled. Like a blank page invites the writer to create, so this bag inspires me to get creative with my kids. To try something new...which ironically isn't new at all, however profound the ideas. To keep pounding the rock.
So tomorrow, if you see me with a pick ax and a safety helmet, please don't call security on me. I'm just pounding the rock. :)
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Jesus is Greater Than Religion
Like every other Sunday, this morning found me at Brazos Fellowship. I love this church. For years, after I graduated high school and left home, I struggled with going to church. Not because I didn't want to. I just didn't feel comfortable in the ones I went to. So I quit going. And I hated every second of it. I knew I should be in church, fellowshipping with God, but I wasn't.
Finally, about 5 years ago, I'd had enough. I had gotten a couple fliers in the mail about a new church, and it sounded good, but I was nervous to go. Then during a meeting with my wedding photographer, we got to talking, and he mentioned that he attended this church and I should check it out. This was probably late 2005/ early 2006. Brazos Fellowship was meeting in the cafeteria of a local middle school. I went. I looked for Art and Connie, my wedding photographers...never did manage to run into them there, but there was more than one service, and weekends are prime wedding time.
I went sporadically for about a year, but I liked it. I enjoyed the freshness that the church offered, the realness. I enjoyed the senior pastor, Will Lewis, who seemed on fire for God and His people.
In 2007, the church got a new building...an old night club behind a Wendy's. I'm still blown away by the story of how the church came to acquire the building. Totally God. I was still going sporadically.
Shortly after my oldest daughter was born I realized that, while my heart had never turned from God, being a "sporadic" church-goer wasn't how I wanted to raise my children. It wasn't the picture of God I wanted them to know. I wanted them to know God. To really know Him, and this required some conviction and a case of "Putting on my Big Girl Panties and dealing with it." So, with baby in tow, we went.
We were greeted, for several weeks, by Michelle. I've told her before, but I don't know that she'll ever know how much of an impact her warm welcomes meant to me. In my insecurity, I needed to hear God. I needed, desperately, for Him to tell me He needed me here. And through Michelle's words, her warm welcomes and smiles, He did just that.
I didn't feel weird. I didn't feel awkward. I didn't feel like a visitor. I felt Home. Finally, after so many years, I felt at home again. This was, indeed, where God wanted me.
But it's hard to break old habits. And warm beds, and soft blankets, are intoxicating. I still went sporadically. But Will's messages always washed over me like warm water, welcoming me back. Week after week, I heard God through Will's words, and saw His love in Will's actions. But I felt Satan pulling at me, telling me that Sunday morning sleep was still okay.
But it wasn't with me. I decided to dig my heels in, stick out my tongue at Satan and say, "No." I got plugged into a women's group and a marriage group-both Bible studies. And, not knowing anyone there but Michelle, who had invited me, I went. And God honored my obedience. And Satan was forced to admit defeat...because he's sucky and a loser. :)
...Let me make it clear that, to this day, I'm still working on my walk. And I still struggle with getting out of bed in the morning. I did today. Luckily, God has blessed me with a new daughter, someone else to fight for. And, even if, in my groggy morning state, I can't come to that clarity, I still have to get up to feed her. So it's kind of a win-win.
The longer I attended Brazos Fellowship, the more I learned about God, and about how deeply this church, this body of Christ, cares for people. I met Kristen, who cried with me over struggles and sadnesses that we both shared. We leaned on each other and trusted in God's word. I met Rebecca, whose road to God was broken and twisted, who had been shunned by other "Christians". I met Chuck and Melissa, who led a marriage Bible study and made no bones about the struggles that their marriage faced; how they were in the process of a divorce when God began to work in their hearts and mend their lives.
All of these people were broken. Like me. I could list so many more sweet, sweet friends whose roads to God did not come easily. ..And I felt so blessed that I was lucky enough to be led to Christ at an early age by my parents. It was something I didn't have to fight, tooth and nail like my sweet new friends had had to do. ...That's what I thought. But I was wrong. Because I was fighting. Although my past seemed smooth enough, I was having to fight for the relationship I wanted with Christ, something I had allowed Satan to whittle away at for years.
I still attend Brazos Fellowship, and I am have never met a group of people who, in my opinion, work so hard to live out what Christ has asked us to do: to be his body. To be his hands and feet. To be a city on a hill, a light in the darkness. God is truly at work here.
And what I love most about this Body. More than anything else. Is that these people know that being a Christian is not about a religion. It's not about rules. It's not an "I gotcha". It is about a RELATIONSHIP. A relationship with the Savior who died. Who took my place. Your place. To bridge the gap between a perfect God and a sinful man.
I have been asked in recent months about my relationship with God. I have been challenged by people who question a God whose people would wage wars in His name. Is he not a God of love and acceptance? they would say. Religion is what is wrong with this world today. People are judgemental, and they base it on God and religion.
And in my heart, I know the answer to this. I know that God is not about religion. He is about a relationship. While God clearly makes it clear that to gain eternal life, you must put your faith in Him and repent from your ways, it His kindness and grace that draw us near; not fear or rules. He doesn't condone violence against others.
My heart is broken that people feel otherwise. That people would be turned off of church because of people who call themselves Christians. But we are people. We are sinful. We are imperfect. And we cannot pretend to know the ways of God, and God, in His perfection, should not be judged by what we think we know about Him. ...But in my heartache, it is sometimes difficult to find the words to say to defend my God, who I know is perfect, and pure, and full of love for me--for the world.
Today at churched, we watched the following video. And I feel like it answers these claims head-on. If you don't know the Lord, or you have turned your back on Him, because of people--imperfect people--please, please take time to watch this. Please take time to consider that God is bigger than our imperfections. That He desperately loves us and seeks and longs after a relationship with us. And leave here knowing that Jesus is greater than religion.
Finally, about 5 years ago, I'd had enough. I had gotten a couple fliers in the mail about a new church, and it sounded good, but I was nervous to go. Then during a meeting with my wedding photographer, we got to talking, and he mentioned that he attended this church and I should check it out. This was probably late 2005/ early 2006. Brazos Fellowship was meeting in the cafeteria of a local middle school. I went. I looked for Art and Connie, my wedding photographers...never did manage to run into them there, but there was more than one service, and weekends are prime wedding time.
I went sporadically for about a year, but I liked it. I enjoyed the freshness that the church offered, the realness. I enjoyed the senior pastor, Will Lewis, who seemed on fire for God and His people.
In 2007, the church got a new building...an old night club behind a Wendy's. I'm still blown away by the story of how the church came to acquire the building. Totally God. I was still going sporadically.
Shortly after my oldest daughter was born I realized that, while my heart had never turned from God, being a "sporadic" church-goer wasn't how I wanted to raise my children. It wasn't the picture of God I wanted them to know. I wanted them to know God. To really know Him, and this required some conviction and a case of "Putting on my Big Girl Panties and dealing with it." So, with baby in tow, we went.
We were greeted, for several weeks, by Michelle. I've told her before, but I don't know that she'll ever know how much of an impact her warm welcomes meant to me. In my insecurity, I needed to hear God. I needed, desperately, for Him to tell me He needed me here. And through Michelle's words, her warm welcomes and smiles, He did just that.
I didn't feel weird. I didn't feel awkward. I didn't feel like a visitor. I felt Home. Finally, after so many years, I felt at home again. This was, indeed, where God wanted me.
But it's hard to break old habits. And warm beds, and soft blankets, are intoxicating. I still went sporadically. But Will's messages always washed over me like warm water, welcoming me back. Week after week, I heard God through Will's words, and saw His love in Will's actions. But I felt Satan pulling at me, telling me that Sunday morning sleep was still okay.
But it wasn't with me. I decided to dig my heels in, stick out my tongue at Satan and say, "No." I got plugged into a women's group and a marriage group-both Bible studies. And, not knowing anyone there but Michelle, who had invited me, I went. And God honored my obedience. And Satan was forced to admit defeat...because he's sucky and a loser. :)
...Let me make it clear that, to this day, I'm still working on my walk. And I still struggle with getting out of bed in the morning. I did today. Luckily, God has blessed me with a new daughter, someone else to fight for. And, even if, in my groggy morning state, I can't come to that clarity, I still have to get up to feed her. So it's kind of a win-win.
The longer I attended Brazos Fellowship, the more I learned about God, and about how deeply this church, this body of Christ, cares for people. I met Kristen, who cried with me over struggles and sadnesses that we both shared. We leaned on each other and trusted in God's word. I met Rebecca, whose road to God was broken and twisted, who had been shunned by other "Christians". I met Chuck and Melissa, who led a marriage Bible study and made no bones about the struggles that their marriage faced; how they were in the process of a divorce when God began to work in their hearts and mend their lives.
All of these people were broken. Like me. I could list so many more sweet, sweet friends whose roads to God did not come easily. ..And I felt so blessed that I was lucky enough to be led to Christ at an early age by my parents. It was something I didn't have to fight, tooth and nail like my sweet new friends had had to do. ...That's what I thought. But I was wrong. Because I was fighting. Although my past seemed smooth enough, I was having to fight for the relationship I wanted with Christ, something I had allowed Satan to whittle away at for years.
I still attend Brazos Fellowship, and I am have never met a group of people who, in my opinion, work so hard to live out what Christ has asked us to do: to be his body. To be his hands and feet. To be a city on a hill, a light in the darkness. God is truly at work here.
And what I love most about this Body. More than anything else. Is that these people know that being a Christian is not about a religion. It's not about rules. It's not an "I gotcha". It is about a RELATIONSHIP. A relationship with the Savior who died. Who took my place. Your place. To bridge the gap between a perfect God and a sinful man.
I have been asked in recent months about my relationship with God. I have been challenged by people who question a God whose people would wage wars in His name. Is he not a God of love and acceptance? they would say. Religion is what is wrong with this world today. People are judgemental, and they base it on God and religion.
And in my heart, I know the answer to this. I know that God is not about religion. He is about a relationship. While God clearly makes it clear that to gain eternal life, you must put your faith in Him and repent from your ways, it His kindness and grace that draw us near; not fear or rules. He doesn't condone violence against others.
My heart is broken that people feel otherwise. That people would be turned off of church because of people who call themselves Christians. But we are people. We are sinful. We are imperfect. And we cannot pretend to know the ways of God, and God, in His perfection, should not be judged by what we think we know about Him. ...But in my heartache, it is sometimes difficult to find the words to say to defend my God, who I know is perfect, and pure, and full of love for me--for the world.
Today at churched, we watched the following video. And I feel like it answers these claims head-on. If you don't know the Lord, or you have turned your back on Him, because of people--imperfect people--please, please take time to watch this. Please take time to consider that God is bigger than our imperfections. That He desperately loves us and seeks and longs after a relationship with us. And leave here knowing that Jesus is greater than religion.
Monday, January 23, 2012
We're Goin' Rogue, Folks!
So I have a Reflux Princess. Like, I'm pretty sure her picture accompanies the word reflux in the dictionary. ..Well..that may be a slight exaggeration, but we change a lot of bibs/clothes, and we go through a million burp rags.
We just took our little Reflux Princess (RP) in for her latest well-check this past week. The doctor that I had actually scheduled the appointment with is not who we saw...which confused me, but I have no problems with any of the doctors in this practice. I was going to ask Dr. H if we could discuss coming off the Nutramigen, the depressingly expensive formula she was put on for the reflux. Originally, after we'd upped her meds dosage and switched her to this, he told us that if she was doing well, she might could come off it at 4 months. The doctor we ended up seeing said 6 months. Bummer.
Of course you want to do whatever is necessary to keep your Little Ones healthy and happy, but you do hope and pray that it comes at the least possible expense. I was ready to tough it out another two months when I ran into a friend of mine at church, whose Little One is the same age as our RP and has had similar issues. My friend told me that she and her husband had decided, on their own, to take their son off of Nutramigen since they really didn't notice a difference. They recommended the Target brand of Similac's formula for fussiness and gas...aka "The Pink Can".
I actually feel like we did notice a difference on the Nutramigen, but since we had switched formulas and upped her meds dosage all at the same time, I have often wondered if both changes were controlling her reflux, or if maybe it was just one or the other. What if it was just the $10/month reflux meds that is controlling the reflux? What if we don't have to pay $35/week for the stinkiest formula (that STAINS!) known to man? Hey...I was willing to give it a shot. Worst case scenario? She pukes like she hasn't puked in months and we resignedly go back to the Nutramigen.
So, with my new strategy in place, I picked up my RP from daycare and promptly headed to our nearest Target. This is a theory worth testing. Admittedly, I entered into my new gameplan with trepidation. I mean...if I'm wrong about this, it means a VERY fussy exorcist baby. Nevertheless, I figured this was the perfect time to try it out. I had about a day's worth of Nutramigen left. So, if this theory fails, I've got enough for a round of back up bottles. And if not, if she seems to do okay on this, I can say adios to the money pit that is Nutramigen. I can say goodbye to the nasty protein stains that may or may not come out of my already limited wardrobe. I can say au revoir to the nasty stink of the fluffy, powdery, yet somehow sticky, formula.
It is now 8:45 pm, and we are almost 2 hours, post Target formula. So far, the only puke to speak of came up with her burps, which is normal. Better yet, she's relaxed and asleep in her bouncy seat. So far, so good. I'm hoping that this works. I'm praying that this works. In fact, I did lift Layla and the new formula up to God before I fed her. I know that when you switch to a new formula, seeking results of some kind, it takes a few/several days to see results. And so it was when we started the Nutramigen. I'm hoping and praying that the same is not true for coming off of it. If this isn't going to work, I want to know as soon as possible. I'm desperately praying that God will show me as quickly as possible if she can tolerate this new formula or if we need to head back to the Nutramigen.
Formula stories aside, today L's daycare director told me that she's never met such a vain baby; of course she wasn't being serious. But she said she's never noticed a baby so enamored with their own reflection, and she did not recall Big Sister being so fascinated with her own reflection. The daycare recently donated their cribs to an orphanage in Mexico, since they were getting new ones. These new ones are very nice, and one whole end of them has a mirror on it. Marcia told me that she was rocking a baby while L was hanging out in her crib, and she happened to look up and notice L just staring at herself in her mirror and just smiling and beaming. ...Totally taken with herself. lol I'm glad to know my sweet girl has such high self-esteem. I can't remember the last time I looked into a mirror and couldn't take my eyes off myself. ....Usually I can't take them off me fast enough! lol Always something to critique. Of course, I don't want L to actually be vain and self-concerned, but I would very much like it if she were happy about who she is.
...Looks like the end of this post is calling. Someone is trying to squirm out of their bouncy seat. Prayers that this is just someone deciding that she's ready for a new pastime and not someone's tummy deciding it's not happy.
Hope your Monday went well. Mondays, it seems, have a terrible rap for being sucky. So if your day fell into that category...hey. Tomorrow's Tuesday. :)
We just took our little Reflux Princess (RP) in for her latest well-check this past week. The doctor that I had actually scheduled the appointment with is not who we saw...which confused me, but I have no problems with any of the doctors in this practice. I was going to ask Dr. H if we could discuss coming off the Nutramigen, the depressingly expensive formula she was put on for the reflux. Originally, after we'd upped her meds dosage and switched her to this, he told us that if she was doing well, she might could come off it at 4 months. The doctor we ended up seeing said 6 months. Bummer.
Of course you want to do whatever is necessary to keep your Little Ones healthy and happy, but you do hope and pray that it comes at the least possible expense. I was ready to tough it out another two months when I ran into a friend of mine at church, whose Little One is the same age as our RP and has had similar issues. My friend told me that she and her husband had decided, on their own, to take their son off of Nutramigen since they really didn't notice a difference. They recommended the Target brand of Similac's formula for fussiness and gas...aka "The Pink Can".
I actually feel like we did notice a difference on the Nutramigen, but since we had switched formulas and upped her meds dosage all at the same time, I have often wondered if both changes were controlling her reflux, or if maybe it was just one or the other. What if it was just the $10/month reflux meds that is controlling the reflux? What if we don't have to pay $35/week for the stinkiest formula (that STAINS!) known to man? Hey...I was willing to give it a shot. Worst case scenario? She pukes like she hasn't puked in months and we resignedly go back to the Nutramigen.
So, with my new strategy in place, I picked up my RP from daycare and promptly headed to our nearest Target. This is a theory worth testing. Admittedly, I entered into my new gameplan with trepidation. I mean...if I'm wrong about this, it means a VERY fussy exorcist baby. Nevertheless, I figured this was the perfect time to try it out. I had about a day's worth of Nutramigen left. So, if this theory fails, I've got enough for a round of back up bottles. And if not, if she seems to do okay on this, I can say adios to the money pit that is Nutramigen. I can say goodbye to the nasty protein stains that may or may not come out of my already limited wardrobe. I can say au revoir to the nasty stink of the fluffy, powdery, yet somehow sticky, formula.
It is now 8:45 pm, and we are almost 2 hours, post Target formula. So far, the only puke to speak of came up with her burps, which is normal. Better yet, she's relaxed and asleep in her bouncy seat. So far, so good. I'm hoping that this works. I'm praying that this works. In fact, I did lift Layla and the new formula up to God before I fed her. I know that when you switch to a new formula, seeking results of some kind, it takes a few/several days to see results. And so it was when we started the Nutramigen. I'm hoping and praying that the same is not true for coming off of it. If this isn't going to work, I want to know as soon as possible. I'm desperately praying that God will show me as quickly as possible if she can tolerate this new formula or if we need to head back to the Nutramigen.
Formula stories aside, today L's daycare director told me that she's never met such a vain baby; of course she wasn't being serious. But she said she's never noticed a baby so enamored with their own reflection, and she did not recall Big Sister being so fascinated with her own reflection. The daycare recently donated their cribs to an orphanage in Mexico, since they were getting new ones. These new ones are very nice, and one whole end of them has a mirror on it. Marcia told me that she was rocking a baby while L was hanging out in her crib, and she happened to look up and notice L just staring at herself in her mirror and just smiling and beaming. ...Totally taken with herself. lol I'm glad to know my sweet girl has such high self-esteem. I can't remember the last time I looked into a mirror and couldn't take my eyes off myself. ....Usually I can't take them off me fast enough! lol Always something to critique. Of course, I don't want L to actually be vain and self-concerned, but I would very much like it if she were happy about who she is.
...Looks like the end of this post is calling. Someone is trying to squirm out of their bouncy seat. Prayers that this is just someone deciding that she's ready for a new pastime and not someone's tummy deciding it's not happy.
Hope your Monday went well. Mondays, it seems, have a terrible rap for being sucky. So if your day fell into that category...hey. Tomorrow's Tuesday. :)
Friday, January 13, 2012
Teaching
I am currently in my sixth year of teaching. I have now taught grades 6, 7, and 8, my classes including language arts, writing, and history. I do not consider myself a veteran teacher. ...I'm not even sure if I'd consider myself a seasoned teacher. But I'm definitely marinating.
If you look up the definition of teacher in the dictionary, it is as follows:
I, as it applies to my profession, like to add a secret addendum to the definition of 'teacher':
Plain and simple, if you cannot, as a teacher, learn and adapt, you will not last in this profession. In the words of country singer Jo Dee Messina, you gotta roll with the punches. I still have much ground to cover as I make my way through my career, so much still to learn. But, I'm making ground. Sometimes new school years yield new revelations based on reflections of the previous year. Sometimes it's literally changing the make up of your lesson midday. ...Did that on Wednesday, actually! And for me, today, it's learning how to let go of that "Quiet Learning Enviornment".
Yes. Quiet has its place. But Quiet does not own all of School-dom, and sometimes you just have to let your hair down, brace yourself for crowd control, and let the kids have at it. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for a quiet learning environment. When I'm giving direct instructions. During testing. During announcements...God willing... lol But I have finally come to terms with Talking. It's not so bad.
Plus, the benefits of talking are two-fold.
1. When the activities include student discussions and/or collaboration, classroom management is a much less-menacing beast. When you're not having to fight tooth and nail to keep your kids' attention focused soley on you, they are much more engaged and awake.
2. It doesn't matter how much of an expert I am. The kids are going to learn so much more from working with each other than I can teach them directly. It's just the truth. Plus, then I'm free to walk around and monitor the kids, and monitor for understanding..something which is much more difficult when you try to make middle school look like a community college lecture hall.
Ooh! ...That brought me to a third reason. ...The benefits are THREE-fold!
3. When I can walk around, monitor, and see what the kids are doing and talking about, I can re-teach, right there on the spot. And kids are so much more likely to ask questions when the room's abuzz, and no one but their group will know. ..And even that's okay, because if they're asking me, the entire group clearly needs some extra instruction, too.
So today, had you walked into my classses, it would have been crazy busy, and probably pretty loud. But my kids were awake, alert, and they got the job done. And I am no longer afraid of Talking. ...Except when I have a headache. Then I have to grab a Dr. Pepper, pop some Advil, and just hang on for the ride.
That's, I think, one of the most fun parts of teaching. ...I love it. I always have. I always will. It's what I was Called to do. But when I grow and learn as a teacher, it makes teaching an entirely new game. ...And new games are ALWAYS fun to figure out. ...This year I tackled tables. ...It's a good thing I've made my peace with Talking. ;-)
Love my job. ...And now off to my most important job. My littlest lady is sounding like she might be hungry. :)
If you look up the definition of teacher in the dictionary, it is as follows:
noun: a person who teaches or instructs, especially as a profession; instructor
I, as it applies to my profession, like to add a secret addendum to the definition of 'teacher':
noun: a person who teaches or instructs, especially as a profession; instructor; one who is constantly learning and adapting
Plain and simple, if you cannot, as a teacher, learn and adapt, you will not last in this profession. In the words of country singer Jo Dee Messina, you gotta roll with the punches. I still have much ground to cover as I make my way through my career, so much still to learn. But, I'm making ground. Sometimes new school years yield new revelations based on reflections of the previous year. Sometimes it's literally changing the make up of your lesson midday. ...Did that on Wednesday, actually! And for me, today, it's learning how to let go of that "Quiet Learning Enviornment".
Yes. Quiet has its place. But Quiet does not own all of School-dom, and sometimes you just have to let your hair down, brace yourself for crowd control, and let the kids have at it. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for a quiet learning environment. When I'm giving direct instructions. During testing. During announcements...God willing... lol But I have finally come to terms with Talking. It's not so bad.
Plus, the benefits of talking are two-fold.
1. When the activities include student discussions and/or collaboration, classroom management is a much less-menacing beast. When you're not having to fight tooth and nail to keep your kids' attention focused soley on you, they are much more engaged and awake.
2. It doesn't matter how much of an expert I am. The kids are going to learn so much more from working with each other than I can teach them directly. It's just the truth. Plus, then I'm free to walk around and monitor the kids, and monitor for understanding..something which is much more difficult when you try to make middle school look like a community college lecture hall.
Ooh! ...That brought me to a third reason. ...The benefits are THREE-fold!
3. When I can walk around, monitor, and see what the kids are doing and talking about, I can re-teach, right there on the spot. And kids are so much more likely to ask questions when the room's abuzz, and no one but their group will know. ..And even that's okay, because if they're asking me, the entire group clearly needs some extra instruction, too.
So today, had you walked into my classses, it would have been crazy busy, and probably pretty loud. But my kids were awake, alert, and they got the job done. And I am no longer afraid of Talking. ...Except when I have a headache. Then I have to grab a Dr. Pepper, pop some Advil, and just hang on for the ride.
That's, I think, one of the most fun parts of teaching. ...I love it. I always have. I always will. It's what I was Called to do. But when I grow and learn as a teacher, it makes teaching an entirely new game. ...And new games are ALWAYS fun to figure out. ...This year I tackled tables. ...It's a good thing I've made my peace with Talking. ;-)
Love my job. ...And now off to my most important job. My littlest lady is sounding like she might be hungry. :)
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